Complexities

Surrounded by a cloud of great witnesses
While living among the shadows
Searching for the faith that never diminishes
And the belief that makes courageous even the cowards

Recollecting another dimension
Encased within the chasm
Of insecurity and indecision
Where hopelessness dare not tread

In the steps of my fathers
With the company of the unseen
Stumbling through the rough country
And the reality that changes the way things seem

Can the moment of restless antagonism
Cloud the summit of promised optimism?

Where divinity and humanity intersect
There we find ourselves pausing
Caught between two worlds
Thrust between saving and losing

Inquisition

The safe haven is what he seeks
Holding tightly to his crumb of bread
As he scours the heights for peace
A peace for the living, not the dead
But at the moment, he sees little difference

The ancient question
Asked by the Roman governor haunts us still:
"What is truth?"
Is it something to feel?
Is it a matter of proof?
Or a grim realization that truth is continually redefined

"Openness and honesty," the people yell
Their rising voices continue to swell
As they pave their own way to hell
While proclaiming they are well

What is truth?
The question mocks us all
Sons and daughters of Adam
Victims of the Fall

Then he realizes with a cold chill
There is no safe haven
For all are ill
And so he turns his head from heaven

Question of the Day

What is something you refuse to surrender?

Phil?

Ever wonder why Phil Collins wrote the following song?

Well you can tell everyone I'm a down disgrace
Drag my name all over the place
I don't care anymore

You can tell everyone about the state I'm in
You won't catch me crying 'cause I just can't win

I don't care anymore, I don't care anymore
I don't care what you say
I don't play the same games you play ...

... 'Cause I remember all the times I tried so hard
And you laughed in my face 'cause you held all the cards
I don't care anymore

And I really ain't bothered by what you think of me
'Cause all I want of you is just a let me be
I don't care anymore, do you hear?

Hmm... anyone have any thoughts?

The Paradox of Holiness

Washed.

But not clean.

Cleansed.

But still soiled.

Purified.

But still contaminated.

Saved.

But still sinful.

My conscience begs for release
As my consciousness wanes
Searching for the prince of peace
The One to end the pain.

Forgiven.

But not sinless.

Pardoned.

But still guilty.

Justified.

But still unworthy.

Receiver of grace.

But still unable to look into His face.

Annual Pilgrimmage

The visit usually takes place each year during the month of March. Actually, to be precise, it takes place during the same time of the annual Tulsa Soul-Winning Workshop.

This year was no exception.

Despite having a booth in the Expo Square and selling (along with autographing) books, I still found time to make the visit. Usually, I sneak away with the excuse that "I need to go visit someone." Rarely, does anyone ask any questions, which affords me a chance to make the annual visit without any outside interference.

Each year I drive from the fairgrounds and head toward Broken Arrow. Taking the exit for 129th Street, I cross the Tulsa-Broken Arrow border.

The visit is also a peaceful one. There is much conversation, although it is usually one-sided. In addition to the conversation, I do some cleaning as well. Nothing major, just pulling some weeds and doing some light dusting.

Throughout all these years they have not changed locations. He moved there in 1964 and she joined him in 1987. Since that time they have remained side-by-side and have seemed to always welcome my yearly visits.

This past Saturday as I stood between them, having what seemed to be a one-sided conversation, I tumbled into a moment of deep reflection. He moved there before we ever had the chance to meet, but I knew her well. It is the memories of her that flood my mind.

So I stood in the sunshine enveloped by a light breeze and the warm, soothing rays of the sun. Such peaceful moments should not produce tears. Yet, the tears come on this day -- as I talk, and pray, and bend down to trace the letters of their names with my fingers.

Then I turn to leave.

I say goodbye to my grandparents, until next March.

But no one answers.

I know why, but I still go to this same place. The bodies remain, but the immortal souls have already left.

But I still go back.

Each year.

Tulsa Update

Day Two at the Tulsa Workshop begins.

Yesterday we did okay with book sales. The people who came by the booth were very interested in the subject matter and wanted to discuss it in addition to buying a book. The conversations were good, and I met some really interesting people. One older lady (a retired church secretary) told me, "I have not read your book yet, but I am so glad you have written it. We need this. We have needed this book for a long time." Hopefully others will share her sentiment.

Anyway, the booth is now open and people are beginning to mull around.

We are already hard at work, so keep us in your prayers.

BTW, last night's keynote session was a moving experience. Recognizing the unity that exists between churches of Christ and independent Christian churches is long overdue. Tonight should be even better.

Waiting for Tomorrow

Sitting in the expo square located on the Tulsa Fairgrounds.

Just finished setting up the booth. Yesterday, we picked up the books from the publisher in Joplin, MO.

Tomorrow about 8,000-10,000 people will begin to descend on the fairgrounds.

Will we sell the books?

We'll see.

By the way, it's a little chilly up here (low-to-mid-30s). Not cold to some of you, but for those of us who live on the Bayou, it's a bit nippy.

Everything

Everything that encompasses me
Is removed from secrecy
And deposited into the account
Of one who nurtures the inconsistency
While extinguishing doubt

The moment is never contained within an instant
The memory blooms into the future
Solidifying the testament
And rendering obsolete the obscure

There are matters that are beyond us
Things we cannot explain
Or dare to comprehend

So we opt to endure the pain
In order to wear the name
Of everything that means anything
And the something that makes nothing become all things
In the place where dreams become reality

To quote Ed Roland (Collective Soul):

Guide me, save me, teach me
I need to learn from this
Hold me, soothe me my Love

The reflection I now see
Is always trying to blind
And discourage me
But my patience shall prevail
And myself as well

Intersections

Just finished a wedding and now I am getting ready to attend a funeral.

Both services are taking place in the same facility. In fact, the services are only a few hundred feet apart.

In one part of the facility is heard the raucous sounds of celebration. Two lives have been joined together. Vows were exchanged while tears of happiness were shed.

In the other part of the facility is found a more somber atmosphere. Tears are shed as a way of saying "goodbye." People have gathered to offer their "farewells."

Rejoicing and mourning -- two feelings that are miles apart, yet brought so closely together in this church facility today.

Life is comprised of intersections. There are days when we rejoice and we mourn. There are days when we scale the highest heights and plummet to the deepest lows. And there are days when we walk by faith only to run away in fear a short time later.

It is in, to quote Dave Grohl "Times like these we learn to live again."

As with every intersection one must proceed with caution. Yet, at the same time, we also learn there are times to throw caution to the wind, for our days are numbered.

One wedding. One funeral. What do the two have in common?

They are both part of this incredible journey we call life.

Saving Grace

Singe the edge
Render the garment
Void the transaction
Nullify the moment

This is your life
Beyond all you can see
Bittersweet memories
Imprison the soul lost at sea

Your light is in the distance
But the cold bids you retreat
Full circle you have come
Only to find yourself in too deep

The landscape transforms
To grant a brand new view
Providing a requested clarity
And healing the few

What manner of power holds such sway?
Who among the mortal can stand at bay?

If, but for a glimpse
I could see your face
That in itself would be my saving grace

Submerged

I am submerged.

Below the waters.

Immersed in the perplexities of life.

Seeing the world in a new atmosphere.

Pondering the road untraveled.

Daring to step onto the highway of dreams.

Wondering what will happen if the road not yet traveled is actually chosen.

The skies continually tease my pursuit: sunshine evaporates into storms and the storms give way to the reemergence of the sun.

Darkness sits upon its throne throughout the evening hours, but when the dawn comes, darkness always abdicates.

I am submerged.

Am I breathing?

Below the waters.

Immersed in the perplexities of life.

Seeing the world in a new atmosphere.

Pondering ...

Daring ...

Leadership Qualities?

Hmm ... according to the test (www.similarminds.com) this is the leader I most resemble. Scary.

Take the test and find out who you resemble.

What About the Kids?

The comment by Beatlebob to the last post got me thinking in a different direction. If "Smells Like Teen Spirit" was the anthem of an entire generation, then "The Kids Aren't Alright" is an anguished cry indicting the screwed up world which this same generation inherited.

Consider these lyrics by The Offspring:

When we were young the future was so bright
The whole neighborhood was so alive
And every kid on the whole damn street
Was gonna make it big and not be beat

Now the neighborhood's cracked and torn
The kids are grown up but their lives are worn
How can one little street
Swallow so many lives?

Chances thrown/Nothing's free
Longing for/What used to be
Still it's home/Hard to see
Fragile lives/Shattered dreams

Jamie had a chance, well she really did
Instead she dropped out and had a couple of kids
Mark still lives at home cause he's got no job
Just plays guitar, smokes a lot of pot
Jay committed suicide
Brandon OD'd and died
What the hell is going on?
Cruelest dream reality

The comment about Frances Bean having no father now since the death of Kurt Cobain got me thinking about this new generation of kids. Whereas the 90s brought a lot of backlash against the selfish excess of the 80s, how will this current generation, a decade removed from the height of the Seattle-music scene, interact with culture?

Will it be ...
I'm still alive ... or ...
Here we are now, entertain us ... or ...
What the hell is going on?

Are the kids alright?

Post-Suicidal Thoughts

Ever since the suicide of Kurt Cobain, the talented singer/guitarist for Nirvana, speculation has shrouded the events of his death. Most people believe the official police report which listed his death as a suicide. Others, though, propose theories ranging from murder to other forms of foul play.

Whatever happened the last day of Cobain's life may never be known. But one piece of information is well-known and indisputable: his legacy continues to weave through current music trends.

The drummer for Nirvana, Dave Grohl, has since found musical success in his own band, the Foo Fighters. Moving on from the tragic end to Nirvana, Grohl has captured an audience with his gut-wrenching, no apologies style of music, especially on the latest release by the Foo Fighters.

The album is entitled, "In Your Honor," and there is considerable belief that the title refers to Cobain. Consider these words from the title track:

Mine is yours and yours is mine
There is no divide
In your honor I would die tonight
Mine is yours and yours is mine
I will sacrifice
In your honor I would die tonight
For you to feel alive

Of course, there is the possibility that those who read this blog could care less about Nirvana or even the Foo Fighters, but if you have an interest, I would really like to read your thoughts on the above lyrics and what they might reveal about the relationship between Grohl and Cobain.

Humps

Today is Wednesday.

This particular day is the "half-way" mark for those who work a traditonal five-day (Monday-Friday) work week. Hence, Wednesday is often referred to as "hump-day" (at least by radio DJs).

Getting over the "hump" is a continual challenge. It also seems that every person has a different "hump" to get over, and those "humps" can change on a weekly or even a daily basis.

Isn't it interesting, though, how our "humps" change over time? While in school, my "humps" consisted of assignments and tests. Of course, every once in awhile the "hump" involved getting up the nerve to talk to a pretty girl. And then there were the "humps" that came with sports: practice and the actual playing of a game.

Now, my "humps" are more about caring for my family, building and sustaining friendships, doing my job effectively and paying the bills.

So even though the Black-Eyed Peas try to turn "humps" into sexual innuendo, my "humps" are not always lovely, and definitely not sexual.

My "humps" are real (according to my reality), and they are always on the road in front of me. Not that this is my "dashboard confessional" (with apologies to the band), but this is one way to say that everyday is "hump day."

Such a fact does not diminish life or even taint it. Rather, it is a reminder that even though the "humps" surround us, we can still press on and capture every moment.

Maybe we should consider embracing the "humps."

But not the Black-Eyed Peas.