Absolution

"I find no absolution in my rational point of view."

Geddy Lee, 1987

Texas Suits

Having survived several days in Texas, I am now back in the friendly confines of the Pelican State.

Attending a lectureship may not sound like much fun on the surface ... but ... for me it is an exercise in observing human behavior (particularly the behavior of clergy).

Some preachers strut around in their suits and carry with them an air of "I'm important, and you should know that."

Others dash from building to building in their designer wear, which is casual, trendy, and less ominous-looking, than the suits. But they still have that air of importance which travels with them.

There are also some who simply dress as themselves. They are not looking for attention, will not share even a glimmer of the spotlight, but are simply present to learn, receive encouragement, and remember that each preacher is quite different, but the shared profession creates unusual friendships and alliances.

I do sincerely appreciate the emphasis on recognizing the unity that exists, in particular, between the Independent Christian Churches and the Churches of Christ. It was an honor to hear my advisor from graduate school deliver an impassioned address on what "we" could have done differently to prevent the division in the first place.

God, give us ears to listen; hearts to follow; and courage to act.

Baggage Claim

Here I am sitting in a hotel room in Abilene, Texas, with "Flatulence Boy."

The trip to Abilene began this morning around 6:00 a.m. Unfortunately, it took TWO hours just to get out of Shreveport (freezing rain; closed interstate). Having escaped Shreveport-Bossier, the remainder of the trip was smooth sailing. Temps reached the mid-50s here in Abilene, but have since dropped into the low-40s.

Oh well. I didn't realize how hard it is to type a blog entry while digesting a bean burrito (hey, it's self-defense, remember "Flatulence Boy"?).

A little over an hour ago, we heard David Fleer speak on John 4. As always, he did an incredible job. He reminded us all to leave our "baggage" at customs when entering the world of Scripture.

Easier said than done.

Satisfied Regrets

The day after my son lost his third tooth (first one on the top row), he commented on the way home from school, "I'm going to a write a letter to the tooth fairy."

"Why?" I asked.

"Because I miss my tooth. I want it back."

Have to admit that no parenting book has a chapter on how to handle this type of situation. So I stumbled forth with an answer involving something about a new tooth needing the space to come in and threw in some big dental-sounding words.

My son looked at me and said, "Okay, but I still miss my tooth."

At that moment my thoughts backtracked to a song called, "Don't Know What You Got Till It's Gone." It seems that we, as people, need reminders to reflect on what we have. At funerals I hear people make comments about not making the most of every moment with the deceased. There is a lot of regret. Why is that? Why do we live life with regrets? Why is it that we don't realize what we have until it is gone?

Maybe Mick Jagger cursed us all when he sang, "I can't get no satisfaction."

On one hand, we are taught to always strive for more (bigger house, newer car, more awards and honors, higher achievements). Yet, the fall-out from such thinking is that we gradually come to believe that satisfaction with who we are, where we are, and what we have accomplished is a bad thing.

Subscribing to this thinking destines us to moments of regret and emotional turmoil when we someday realize that we didn't know what we had until it was gone.

Think about that the next time you are tempted to exchange harsh words with a friend. Realize that in just a few seconds an entire relationship can be destroyed.

Ponder that the next time you tell your kids that you are "too busy." Realize that the time they spend under your roof is limited.

Think about that the next time you give up on a dream because of fear. Realize that fear will always imprison you if you allow it. Dreams are meant to be pursued.

Ponder that the next time you relegate God to the dusty shelves in your life. Realize that someday God will be all you have.

Maybe instead of singing, "don't know what you got till it's gone," we should sing, "embraced every moment while it was here and forever embraced the God who exists before and beyond the grave."

No regrets.

Somewhere Funny

he, he, he

smile.

he, he, he

smile.

somewhere something funny was just said and people are laughing.

he, he, he

so smile.

hey, look, no caps!

man, i'm getting good.

Mistake Acknowledged

Just returned from a meeting with the director of Bossier Parks and Recreation.

It was a good meeting. He apologized for the fiasco on Saturday, expressed disapproval at how the referees handled the rule changes, and acknowledged that changing the rules in the middle of the season was a poor decision.

We are now returning to the original rules and leaving Satuday far, far behind us.

Good riddance.

Technical Foul On Bossier Parks

Saturday, I was called for my first technical foul.

In the years I played basketball (5th grade-college) I never once received a technical foul. Yet on Saturday, all of that changed.

I coach my daughter's basketball team (3rd graders) and the two games on Saturday were an exercise in frustration and a complete mockery of the game of basketball.

For the entire season, we (Mike Freeman coaches with me) have taught the girls to play full-court defense (press) and to look for fastbreak opportunities. As the youngest team in the league, we play against older and bigger girls, so we have to rely on our speed and quickness to keep us in games.

When we arrived for our first game, I was handed a letter (as were all coaches) from the director of the league (Bossier Parks and Recreation) stating that full-court presses and fastbreaks were now illegal. So, in a few minutes before the game I tried to tell the girls on the team to forget what we have practiced since December.

The rule change was bad enough, but the accompanying penalties were even worse. The letter said that each team would receive three warnings for violating the new rules. Our 9-year-old girls do not adapt that quickly, so we received our three warnings rather quickly. According to the director, following the third warning further violations would result in the other team being awarded a point. So, we lost our first game 15-13 and the other team was awarded four points by the referees.

In all of my years of playing sports, I have never heard of points being given to the other team for rule violations (particularly rule changes that were not communicated in a timely fashion).

The frustration (unfortunately, we were awarded with referees of a less than desirable character) manifested itself in the second game. Out of frustration, I threw my hat into the empty space behind our bench (all the fans sit on the other side of the gym so the area behind the bench is completely vacant). As I reached my hand down to scoop the hat up I missed and it went scooting onto the gym floor at which time the closest ref (whose back was turned to me) called a technical.

At halftime, I tried to explain to the referee what had happened. He, in turn, attempted to give a lecture on sportsmanship (along with his cohort in crime). At this point the conversation went like this:

Ben: Any of you guys ever actually play basketball?
Ref #1: just up through middle school
Ref #2: played a little in high school
Ben: I love this game and I played through college. What you guys are doing today is a disgrace to the game of basketball. This is ridiculous.

Both of the refs just shrugged their shoulders.

In looking back on this episode, I am reminded that any league has a right to make whatever rules it wants to make. Should a league change rules in the middle of the season to placate a few squeaky wheels? I don't think it is a good idea and it certainly shows a lack of backbone on the part of the league director.

Should rule changes be communicated to teams BEFORE game day? Sounds like a pretty good idea.

Anyway, when someone trashes the integrity of a game you love, it is a little hard to swallow. If anyone deserved a technical foul, it was the director of the Bossier Parks and Recreation league.

Girls, you did a great job! Thanks for hustling and giving everything you have.

Next game, I promise not to wear a hat.

Preexistent Trust

In his book on the subject of prayer, Richard Foster makes a powerful statement on the relationship between trust and faith.

Here is what he writes, "Learn that trust precedes faith. Faith is a little like putting your car into gear, and right now you cannot exercise faith, you cannot move forward. Do not berate yourself for this. But when you are unable to put your spiritual life into drive, do not put it into reverse; put it into neutral. Trust is confidence in the character of God. Firmly and deliberately you say, 'I do not understand what God is doing or even where God is, but I know that he is out to do me good.' This is trust. This is how to wait."

Interesting comments by Foster. His analogy is enticing, and his logic is sound. If Foster is correct, then how does the assertion that "trust precedes faith" affect our daily lives?

My experience is that we teach the reverse in church. We teach that the first step is faith and then trust will follow. It seems, though, that Foster hits on something that speaks to all of us who have found ourselves "walking in the valley of the shadow."

Trust first. Then exercise faith.

Try

One of the most influential bands in rock music has also significantly impacted my life and my personal philosophy.

In times of greatest need I have pulled out one of their albums and allowed the meticulous craftsmanship and thought-provoking lyrics to provide a salve for my deepest wounds. The songs have a healing effect and are able to ease stress.

So, in honor of Rush, I offer to you these lyrics sung by the incomparable Geddy Lee:

You could try to understand me
I could try to understand you

The Incensed Why

Ever been incensed?

I am.

Right now.

I think I looked evil in the face today. I encountered from someone today the desire to do harm, inflict pain, and tear relationships asunder.

Funny, the games we play. It is so easy to play the victim with others and unleash a hellish fury in private.

Does God really change lives for the better?

After witnessing a professed "Christian" in action today, I am a little shaky on an answer.

God, why?

Voice in the Night

In the stillness of the night a voice cuts through the quiet.

It speaks not to the ears, but to the heart.

At once soothing and convicting, the voice echoes throughout a person's soul.

With a deafening sound masked in a gentle whisper, the voice will not be ignored.

Like the prophet Samuel, I can only respond, "Here I am. Speak, for your servant is listening."

What manner of speech bridges the gap between the temporal and the eternal? It is the language of deity, couched in terminology that frail, mortal humans can hear.

The voice lingers as it delves into the depths of the human soul. Amazingly, it brings comfort. Somehow it grants the troubled soul rest.

God, is that you?

Super Bowl Champs!

21-10

Congratulations, Pittsburgh Steelers!

Congratulations to Dan Rooney and family for running the classiest organization in professional sports.

Congratulations to Jerome Bettis for completing a hall of fame career with a championship.

Congratulations to Coach Cowher for remaining resilient.

If you have never lived in Pittsburgh, then you have no idea what this championship means to the city. The Steelers define Pittsburgh.

Finally, after a few weeks of mainly bad news, good news has arrived!

Wow!

Someday

Today we said goodbye to Jeff.

At the age of 22, Jeff decided to end his life. Today we honored him and among tears and overwhelming grief, said goodbye.

Death has continued to be an unwelcome visitor in my life. It is not a question of trusting God or focusing on the afterlife. My battle with death is in understanding why it happens.

Unfortunately, I don't often talk about it with others. I don't want to hear the canned responses and the simplistic explanations. And I really don't want a lesson on having greater faith. It is not a faith issue. It is a heart issue.

Intellectually-speaking, I can tell you why there is death and how it figures into the great scheme of things. But my heart rages against death's intrusion.

So, this week has been a week of battles. Now that the week is almost at an end and Jeff's funeral has concluded, I am ready for rest. Once again, death has left its mark, and I have been helpless to prevent it or to remove the grief that follows in its wake.

Jesus interrupted every funeral he ever attended and brought life back from the grave. I have no such power. Instead, I stand with the mourners at the grave, knowing in my heart that everything will be fine someday, but grieving that things are not fine today.

At times like these, I stake my claim with the writer of Psalm 34:18, "The Lord is close to the brokenhearted, and saves those who are crushed in spirit."

Someday our "goodbyes" will transform into "hellos." Then, death will be no more.

And my battles will cease.

Surface Scanning

Being out on the water is relaxing. Drifting on a boat away from land, allowing the waves to gently push you around creates a good time to sit back and reflect. Of course, don't forget the fishing equipment!

Looking across the water has always perplexed me. Whether it is Caddo Lake, the Ohio River, Lake Erie or the Atlantic Ocean, I am entranced by water.

In most bodies of water the only thing you can see is on the surface. Now there are some shallow points where you can see a little deeper, and I realize there are bodies of water that are crystal clear, but most of the time all we see is the surface.

The fact we cannot see what is under the surface, but are still relaxed being on the water is ironic to me. So much of what we fear in life has to do with the unknown. All of us reach a point where we realize that even our most meticulous, best-laid plans are not guaranteed. Situations evolve. People change.

So what makes the water so entralling? I call it "surface scanning." For example, I may not see any fish underneath the surface (and can't afford fancy equipment that tells me where the fish are), but I still take a chance that when I cast my baited hook into the water, I stand the chance of catching a fish. Then when my hook is jerked and I reel back, often I cannot see what is on the other end until I bring it close to the surface.

Do you see how prevalent the unknown is in this situation? Yet, what makes us content, even relaxed to "surface scan?"

Maybe it is the calm motion of the waves. Maybe it is the light wind that gently blows our hair. Or maybe it is the reflection we see in the water. Is it possible that the surface reveals to us more important things than what lies beneath?

Maybe, just maybe there is nothing at all superficial about "surface scanning." Perhaps our problem is when we ignore what the surface reflects and try to see the unknown.

Anybody want to go fishing?