Fictionalized Reading

My reading patterns have changed as of late.

Usually, I read non-fiction books, but since Christmas I have devoured three novels. All of them turned out to be good, engaging reads, especially the one I finished this weekend.

The Historian, by Elizabeth Kostova (it is her first novel) is an excellent book that combines a mix of history and fiction concerning the historical background of the Dracula legend. It deals with a search for information about Vlad Tepes (otherwise known as Vlad the Impaler) who ruled Wallachia (in Romania) and fiercely fought against Turkish invaders throughout his reign in the fifteenth century. That sounds good, but he was in no sense a hero. He had an affinity for killing -- even his own people -- by his favorite method of execution: impalement.

Anyway,the book is a very worthwhile read for those of you who enjoy reading. I recommend it.

Also recommended: Leaving Ruin by Jeff Berryman. This is the most realistic portrayal of a minister that I have ever found in a novel. Good read.

And ... Monster by Frank Peretti. Peretti's writing is always suspenseful and creates an enjoyable reading experience.

The Choice to Live

The choice to live is a decision that involves the willingness to render self susceptible, vulnerable, and even culpable.

Sorting through the selfish and unselfish processess that flow through our thoughts and feelings is tedious at best, heart-wrenching at worst. We have a natural proclivity to seek out what is best, lasting, and which will provide healing.

World religions claim to offer that which we seek. Each stakes a claim to providing the best of life and in life. Each promotes its eternal legacy (whether that be heaven or nirvana), and each claims to know the secret of healing -- mental, emotional, physical and spiritual.

When a person chooses to live, he renders himself susceptible to all that is good, and to all that is evil. Choices are weighed by scales, some of which are honest and some dishonest. While religion seeks to bring clarification, the result is often confusion. Even among members of one particular religion, there is found parties formed upon the interpretation of that religion's sacred writings.

It reminds me of a line from a song that Sammy Hagar sang, "You've got Allah in the East; you've got Jesus in the West; what's a man to do?"

Choosing to live also makes a person vulnerable. You know what that feeling is like -- bearing your soul, revealing your heart, sharing your thoughts -- only to then second-guess yourself. This is vulnerability, when you open your life to another. It is only through such vulnerability that a person truly finds love, healing, and peace. Of course, the flip side of vulnerability is when it is used against a person. Then stones are thrown, accusations mount, and the soul laid bare by "chosen" vulnerability weeps and gasps for spiritual breath. It is distressing, yet necessary. In order to truly live, a person must choose vulnerability with the one (or ones) she holds closest to her heart.

Culpability is the last result of choosing to live. To be culpable means that a person is "deserving of blame;" and has made "evil or improper decisions." Choosing to live is not an easy endeavor. Each day brings with it a litany of decisions, with options entreating us in our ears. So, we choose. We do our best to choose wisely, to listen to our hearts, and to follow our dreams. Sometimes the choices result in what we desire. Other times, the choices result in quite the opposite. A person is culpable for a choice, because that person has made the choice. Interestingly, the logic here gets very crowded when others attempt to define someone's choices as good or bad. Naturally, harm to others is not a good thing. I cannot choose to obtain a certain car and then go out and kill the owner to get what I want. However, I can choose to legally obtain the car through a variety of avenues. While culpability is a scary prospect, choosing not to live is much more frightening.

The choice to live is based upon a foundation mixed with faith, emotion, and experience. To be certain, these form an uneasy alliance. Yet, the choice to live is never an easy one. It has always been the case that the choice to not live is a much easier decision.

Windows to the Soul

Catching a glimpse of the human soul is a rare phenomenon that either attracts of repluses.

If the eyes truly are windows to the soul, then what do our eyes reveal about us?

Sometimes we see pain in another's eyes. Other times we find the joy that is only present when dreams come true.

There are eyes that reveal longing, hope, disappointment, anger, passion, confusion, faith, and love.

There are eyes that captivate, and eyes that alienate. There are eyes that welcome, and eyes that scorn. There are eyes that communicate, "I love you," without saying a word. And then there are eyes that reveal disdain.

Brown eyes, blue eyes, green eyes, hazel eyes ... all with a message.

Eyes are revelatory. What do yours reveal?

Joy in the Unexpected

There are two kind of surprises in life: good ones and bad ones. The bad ones encompass the unexpected diagnosis, the ill-fated collision, and the manifestation of a bad dream from the past.

On the other hand, good surprises are the ones that knock you off your feet. They stop your heart (just for a second), then send your heartbeat racing out of control. Your breath is taken away and you are completely and amazingly stunned, and overwhelmed (in a good way) by what has just unfolded.

Maybe your surprise was having your love reciprocated by another. Maybe your surprise was sharing a dream with a loved one. Maybe your surprise was the presence of a friend who has stuck by your side throughout the years. Or maybe your surprise was an invitation, an acknowledgement, or an honor.

These kind of surprises are better than the ones we find under the Christmas tree on Christmas morning. These are life-affirming, and life-changing surprises.

One thing I have learned about God is his penchant for doing the unexpected. He loves to surprise us! Along the journey, in our joys and sorrows, God continues to interact with us. Many of his interactions are not what we expected, but they are welcomed and embraced. This is what it means to have joy in the unexpected.

My life has stayed pretty hectic for the past several weeks (this book writing thing), yet I have experienced surprises along the way. I am thankful for these surprises, for they remind me that life is not about making plans, but remembering to enjoy the simple things found in simple moments.

Find joy, and embrace the joy found in the unexpected!

Meaningful Conversation

The paths we walk through life are filled with detours, warning signs, and even major potholes. Each of these has the capacity to disrupt and, in extreme circumstances, destroy.

In the quest for meaning and the search for significance, we long for conversation. The conversation we long for is not just the superficial "hi, how are things going?" that we get throughout each day. Rather, we long for meaningful conversation. We yearn for conversation where the good and the bad can be expressed. We pray for conversation where we can share our greatest fears, our most irrational thoughts, and our deepest secrets.

What makes meaningful conversation so needed is not only the listening, empathetic ear, but also the safety that such conversation affords. Of course, we know that we can tell God anything (He already knows anyway). Yet, many of us carry around secrets and we hold them inside because we are afraid of expressing our thoughts and feelings. We are afraid because we do not know how others will react.

In my job, this is so severe. Many times, opportunities for meaningful conversation are rare. That is why when such a conversation occurs it is treasured. It is kind of like something that Mark Pittman calls "Dead Man's Talk." It is an opportunity to finally release the smorgasbord of thoughts and feelings that boil within us and threaten to consume us. The healing takes place through the listener who patiently listens, engages in the conversation and makes no judgment. These qualities are what make such conversation rare.

And these qualities are also what makes such conversation needed. But tread carefully. Becoming vulnerable makes you, well, vulnerable. Remember that God is the one to whom you can share anything. And pray to God, that He will lead you (or someone to you) to share in such conversation. Life is not meant to be lived alone. You were not meant to keep everything you feel and think bottled up for fear of how others may react.

Meaningful conversation is needed on this journey of life.

The Redemption of Wyatt Earp

Within the span of a few months (late '93, early '94) two movies were released based on the life of the legendary lawman, Wyatt Earp. The first, Tombstone, focused on the famous shootout between the Earps and the Clantons at the OK Corral in Tombstone, Arizona.

The second movie, Wyatt Earp, was more biographical as it chronicled Earp's life with all of its mishaps, miscues, and misunderstandings. Yet, in the end, the movie reveals the "redemption" of Wyatt Earp.

The latter movie, with a longer running time than Tombstone, paints a portrait that is easier to embrace. It is more palatable for the person who shares the pain of mistakes in life, wrestles with regret, but still yearns for a better future.

Earp teaches a lesson about what resides on the other side of pain. It reminds us that even when we walk outside of the will of God redemption is available.

Nowhere is this more evident than in Earp's final marriage. He has already experienced loss, dealt with the pain and suffering that comes with another poor decision, but finally finds true love (rather, she finds him).

While it is easy to dismiss Earp's decision and write a treatise on the evils of broken marriages, it is much more beneficial to see the joy that arises out of the suffering that has almost consumed one man's life.

The closing scene is poignant. Earp and his wife, Josie Marcus, are on a ship nearing Alaska. The years have taken their toll on Earp, but at last, he has found peace. His journey was a difficult one, fraught with many perils and battles with his own conscience, but, in the end, he finds redemption through Josie.

And in the end, he finds life.

Next

Book sent to publisher today.

Breathing a little easier.

Thanks to all of you for your encouragement.

We'll see what happens next.

Hmm ...

Triple Good Thursday

Thursday is my favorite day of the week. Always has been. I'm not sure if I can explain why, but suffice it to say that there is something gratifying about getting past the Wednesday hump.

With a stressful week like this one, it is especially gratifying.

The book is scheduled to go to the publisher today. We are still waiting for one more endorsement. My advisor from Cincinnati Bible Seminary has agreed to write an endorsement, but we made contact late in the process, so we are scrambling to get everything done. Of course, he read most of it seven years ago, when he advised me and guided me through the process. This, in itself, is a cool story. He did not agree with my conclusions, yet he encouraged me in my research and helped me at each step. That is the kind of attitude we all need to aspire to as Christ-followers.

Speaking of having the right attitude (the attitude of Christ) toward one another, let me encourage you to make the trip to the Tulsa Workshop this year. It is going to be an incredible experience as acappella churches of Christ and independent Christian churches come together to acknowledge our common heritage and the unity we have in Christ. This unity was officially recognized as being broken 100 years ago, and now, finally, what many of us have prayed for is becoming a reality: a simple recognition of each other as family in Christ.

Wow! Need I say more?

Postmodern Faith

Remember that corny song in the 80s by the band Survivor that proclaimed, "The Search is Over?"

brb

(barfing sound ...)

Okay, I'm back

When is "the search" really over? When do we "arrive?" How do we differentiate reality from fantasy?

For me, this search thing is ongoing. Just when I think I've arrived, I find that the destination has changed.

Interesting how postmodern thought interacts with a faith heritage based on rational, common sense thinking.

The Pain of Editing

Today was spent editing. Looking for mistakes. Recalling rules of grammar and punctuation only to discover numerous failures to abide by such rules.

Commas, periods, semi-colons, and parenthesis ruled the day!

Footnotes, spacing, and quotations refused to be silenced!

So here I am, typing a blog and not giving a care if there are any typos.

Editing is a painful process, especially when the manuscript is your life.

Dealing with words on paper is a laborious process, but proofreading your life is excruciating.

Another term for life-editing is self-examination. For me, it is finding the gaps in my life and attempting to fill those gaps. Here is a comma out of place. Oops, forget to format those footnotes. Don't forget to set the margins at one inch!

While one can remain emotionally-detached while editing manuscripts, such luxury is not available for those engaging in self-editing.

As Superdrag sang in 1996, "who sucked out the feeling?"

So feel, love, and remember that sometimes it is okay to write outside the margins. Find the beauty of life and if it (or he/she) is not in your life, edit that missing piece in. (lol -- i ended that sentence in a preposition. Oops, this one, too!)

The Missing

Hey guys, thanks for all the comments on the last entry. The proposal has been made, was approved, and now we are working on editing and getting ready for publication.

We are going to print 1,000 copies (not my idea), which scares me. I'm afraid I could be giving away copies for the next 40 Christmases. lol

Anyway, as I said before, this is not a money-making proposition for anyone involved. There are some people willing to just donate to make this a reality and whatever money is left over after we pay publication costs will go into a fund to help students attend a Christian university. So, it really is a ministry-thingy.

Somehow, though, in all of this it seems that something is missing. I can't put my finger on it, but there is a void; something is incomplete. In a way it is scary, because looking at it that way, it seems like a microcosm of my life.

Do you ever feel that something is missing? Ever try to put together a jigsaw puzzle only to find at the end that you are one piece short?

It is puzzling (no pun intended). Every once in awhile I think I have it -- that missing piece -- but then it goes away and I'm left sorting reality from dreamworld. Just the other day, while eating dinner, I thought I had it, but "poof" it vanished and the night consumed whatever vestiges of reality I had encountered.

Anyway, maybe watching Letterman tonight will clear things up.

Is 1906 Still Relevant?

Okay, any post asking a question is a little risky (considering the scarcity of comments that land on this site). But this is an important year in church history, especially for those who consider themselves part of the American Restoration Movement (also known as the Stone-Campbell Movement).

2006 marks the 100th year since the churches of Christ "offically" (without the machinery in place to do so) left the Restoration Movement. Since 1906 the other segments of the Movement: the independent Christian churches and the Disciples of Christ have also split, thus leaving three separate branches in what was once considered a unity Movement. Oops!

Because of the historical significance of this year a number of events are planned to bring the churches of Christ and the independent Christian churches together (the Disciples are still at a distance). These efforts are not designed to effect a unity between the two groups (we are already united in Christ), rather they are designed to help the two groups recognize one another as brothers and sisters in Christ.

Back in 1999, as I was finishing my master's degree at Cincinnati Bible Seminary (a school associated with the independent Christian churches), I completed my thesis entitled, "Torn Asunder: the Civil War, David Lipscomb and the 1906 Division of the Disciples."

The research was concentrated on the division that took place, its causes and the reaction of notable leaders throughout the Movement.

Here is my question: I am thinking about asking the elders at the congregation where I attend if they will finance the publishing of this book to help the members at this congregation (and maybe others) better understand what happened and why we are at the place where we are today in the Movement. My proposal includes selling the books at cost, so ideally, it will be a wash with whatever money comes out of the church budget. I will pocket none of it.

What do you guys think? My administrative assistant liked the idea, but I really would like to hear from the rest of you. Please don't leave me comment-less! Is this something that would benefit others?

Is 1906 still relevant?