Tube Transporter Trauma

This week took another interesting turn this morning following a trip to the bank. My usual practice is to do business inside the bank, but this morning I was stinky from working out and opted for the drive-through. I placed my checks in the "tube-thingy" and pushed the send button. A few seconds later I heard something that sounded like "gurgling."

The sound did not keep my attention for long. I returned to the ancient rite of listening to music until the voice of the teller brought me disturbing news. "Sir, your tube did not come through. What did you put in it?" I told her that it had my life savings in it. Just kidding. Actually, it had a couple of checks and my driver's license. She reassured me that they were addressing the problem.

A few minutes later, another teller came out of the bank with an empty tube and tried to send it in my "tube transporter" in an attempt to bump the other one. The first ten attempts failed, but the number eleven must be lucky. The teller cried in relief, "The tube has landed! We have the tube! Repeat. We have the tube!" The drivers in the thirty cars behind me began to honk their horns in celebration. And I began to breathe again.

A routine stop turned into a stressful moment only to be followed by laughter. Sometimes our routines are anything but routines. Just ask any stay-at-home mom.

There are times when we have to improvise. There are moments when we have to sit back and laugh at ourselves. My first glance at the people in the car beside me led to hostile feelings. After all, they were laughing at my situation with the tube transporter. But then I thought, "this is kinda funny." Changes in routine don't have to bring us down or ruin our days. Instead, they can serve as a reminder that we should not always take ourselves so seriously.

So I joined the laughter. And it felt good.

The Importance of Friends

Another day in the valley makes a person long for the summit even more. Another day of confrontations, makes one long for a day of rest.

Life is not easy. As far as I can tell, it is not designed to be easy. Life is filled with frustrations, heartache, and even sleepless nights.

Today I just want to scream "Argh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

I have (or had) a friend who is an addict. His family desperately hurts over his decisions and longs for him to get well. His wife prays for a miracle, and agonizes over the decisions that now face her. His children long for the stability that was taken away from them by the poor choices of their father.

I pray for him. I pray for his soul, because all I see now is a person without the Spirit of God. He is alive on the outside, but spiritually-speaking, he is dead. My prayer is that whatever needs to happen to save his soul will happen.

I have a business associate who is unhappy with his job. He feels "under-utilized." His heart is in another place. The company's board is not aware of this, but I see the tension mounting. He took a job that in hindsight, he probably should not have taken. Now his longing for something else has affected his job performance and his relationship with me (and others).

Unable to "fix" either person, I sit in frustration. Not willing to betray loyalty, I wrestle with the right thing to do. My wisdom is not sufficient. My ability is not good enough. Even my faith staggers.

However, my salvation is in Jesus and there rests my hope. Yet, the light of heaven breaks through the clouds of despair when I consider others.

I have a friend who has recommitted his life to God. He deeply loves his wife and children. He prays with me and confesses his sins and weaknesses to me. He is concerned about my physical and spiritual health. Being around him reminds me that God is still touching hearts. He helps remind me that people can change for the better and, in the process, has strengthed my faith.

I have another friend who is moving to a different state. His life is pretty much a rollercoaster, with few stops in-between rides. He also loves his family. He wants to serve the Lord, and despite my inability to comprehend all of his decisions, I know his heart. What inconsistencies are present in his life help showcase the grace of God. He reminds me that "God's grace is sufficient."

I have another "friend" who died several years ago. I say "friend," because I never met him, but he still speaks to me today. He attended the same seminary I attended and he is buried in a cemetery close to the Ohio-Indiana state line. He still speaks to me through his music. He reminds me that God is an "awesome God" and that the greatest thing in life is walking with God "step-by-step." In his music, my memory is refreshed concerning the validity of belief, the assurance of God's promises, and the faith that brings it all together.

Maybe today is not so bad after all. Maybe I just needed a "blog" to wipe away the landscape that despair attempted to put before my eyes. Maybe I just needed to refocus on reality.

To the friends mentioned above I say, "thank you." You (probably without knowing it) ministered to me today.

Breaking the Tablets

Today the United States Supreme Court issued two separate rulings concerning the posting of the Ten Commandments at government buildings.

The Supreme Court ruled that monuments displaying the Ten Commandments at two Kentucky courthouses are unconstitutional. The vote was 5-4, not exactly an overwhelming decision. The concurring Justices believe the monuments in Kentucky were put in place for strictly religious purposes.

However, in a case in Texas, the Court ruled that the display of the Ten Commandments at a Texas courthouse is constitutional because it serves a historical purpose. The vote in this case was also 5-4.

It is easy to see how the Court has created a confusing situation. It seems that with no standard in place, rulings will tend to be arbitrary.

Recognizing how the Ten Commandments have served as a foundation for our legal system is not the same as the endorsement of a particular religion. Our job is not to rewrite, or cover up our history. Religion played a big role in the founding of this country and the Ten Commandments are a bedrock for legal systems around the world.

This increasing hostility displayed through our judicial system toward religious beliefs is a warning to people of all faiths everywhere. This is not about state endorsement of religion, this is about the continuing secularization of America. This is about the religion of secularism taking the place of any form of religious belief.

As Americans, we have the right to have opinions and to express those opinions. This is what Christ-followers must do at this time. We have voices and those voices deserve to be heard as much as the secular agenda of the ACLU. Being a Christian does not mean a person relinquishes his rights.

People of faith are not the enemy.

Graceless Grace

In my years of church-going I have found an interesting phenomenon. The concept of grace is stressed in pre-conversion studies, but relegated to the background come post-conversion.

Most Christ-followers are quick to emphasize grace to someone seeking a relationship with Jesus. The talk revolves around the universal need for a Savior, which is precipitated by the problem of universal sin. Since all people sin, all people are guilty of breaking God's law. Anytime a law is broken a penalty must be paid. This penalty satifies the requirements of the law and sustains justice.

Enter Jesus. He lives a perfect life (thereby satisfying the requirements of law) and dies on the cross (sinless, though condemned as a sinner). Because of this sacrifice, God's wrath (His natural response to sin) is averted away from us and onto Jesus. We are then cleansed by the blood of Jesus and His righteousness is set down to our account (for our righteousness will never satisfy God or His law). This is why we need grace. We need to embrace God's way of dealing with our sin problem and His way (only way) of providing us with salvation. In short, salvation is the work of God.

We respond to God's grace by accepting His offer. We get this part right. Where Christ-followers fail, though, is in the post-conversion stages. Following baptism, the emphasis switches from grace-filled living, to duty-directed living. We jump into what we are supposed to do, how we are supposed to do these things, and when we are supposed to do them.

The problem this produces is that we create a mindset that betrays the grace that first brought us to God. We begin to believe that our good works enhance or even secure our salvation. We frown on those who do not do as much as we do. We criticize those who are not on multiple church committees or who do not teach Bible classes.

Why do we do these things? We do these because we have changed partners. We came to the dance with grace and are now holding action (or works). We want to be workers, because working is something we can do. It appeals to our sense of self-sufficiency and desire to make our own way. Yet, it is a far cry from grace.

As someone once explained to me, "we do good works not to get saved, but because we are saved." My adherence to God's law will not get me better property in heaven. The number of church projects with which I get involved will not earn me special status among the saints. And the good things I do for people will not cause God to love me more, just as my sin has not caused Him to love me less.

Grace is necessary pre-conversion and post-conversion. To lose sight of this fact is to trade-in God's amazing grace for a cheap imitation that may satify our self-reliant mindset, but will lead us away from God.

And grace.

Lake Therapy

Spending time at the lake is therapeutic. There is a peace that comes with drifting on a boat in the middle of a lake. Tonight, I felt such peace.

There is a calmness that comes when we retreat to nature. Somehow the trees calm our troubled spirits, the motion of the waves eases our tension, and the wildlife we witness reminds us that we are designed by a Creator.

As we began our trek across the largest natural lake in the South, my first inclination was to throw my cell phone into the water. The serene surrounding awakened within me the urge to distance myself from things that cause me stress in my daily life. Here I was surrounded by family and friends in a beautiful place. I wanted to bask in this moment for much longer than the few hours afforded to us.

But rather than bemoaning that this trip must come to an end, I decided to render thanks where thanks is due. I am a person of many acquaintances, but few close friends. This is not a sad fact. I am thankful for the friends with whom I shared this evening.

And I am also thankful for the family God has given me. Realizing that God has orchestrated my life far better than I ever could is a humbling insight. I guess in this way, God has shaped my worldview. The world I live in is fraught with many distressing things, many of which are caused by evil-minded individuals. Watching the nightly news can quickly catapult a person into depression.

Yet, there is still good. I see it in the generous actions of people who share with others what God has given them. I witness it in the presence of friends who I know would go to great lengths for any need I might have. And I observe it my children's faces. Their innocence is matched by their desire to embrace life and to do so surrounded by friends.

A person can learn a lot by spending time at the lake.

It's My Life

Deciding how to live my life is one of the deepest and most personal questions a person can ask. We make choices on a daily basis: what to wear, where to eat, what appointments to make, keep or break. Each day is chalked full of choices. Yet, each choice falls under the umbrella of a much more important choice: how will I live my life?

Of course, Jon Bon Jovi had no qualms about singing, "It's my life" and promoting a "do-what-you-want-when you want-with whom you-want" attitude. Sheryl Crow offered us this philosophical tidbit: "If it makes you happy, it can't be that bad." And Sammy Hagar boldly declared, "I can't drive 55!" Oops, that last illustration does not exactly fit.

Do I live for self, for family, for career, or for God? Is each one of these choices mutually exclusive of the other? Can I live for God and for family? Can I live for God and career?

Actually, each choice is mutually exclusive and a person cannot truly live for any combination. This is a hard teaching of the Christian faith, but it is a fundamental teaching.

Christ-followers live for God. They consider everything else to be worthless compared with really knowing Jesus (see Philippians 3). They live grateful lives for God's glory. It really boils down to a question of priorities. If I know your priorities, I know your heart. And if I know your heart, I know who your "god" is.

The greatest love in life for a Christ-follower is God. Everything and everyone else is secondary. However, making God my ultimate heart's desire means I become a better husband, father, mother, wife, son, daughter ... I am able to fulfill my calling to family because I have filled the gaping hole in my heart. Then, and only then, am I able to passionately love and care for my family.

We are mortal creatures wearing temporal bodies. At the same time, we are immortal creatures whose existence is marked by an eternal soul. The choices we make in the present are closely watched by eternity.

So, choose wisely.

Why Am I Still Here?

Why continue within a Movement that has so many warts and dark days? The reason goes back first to the prayer of Jesus in John 17. From my perspective, I see a lot of denominations building bigger facilities and developing newer ministries, but very little emphasis being placed on strengthening relationships with other believers.

Second, my heritage in the Churches of Christ is marked by a noble dream. Once upon a time there were men and women who believed in the concept of "union in truth." There were faithful followers of Christ who were willing to have "free discussion." And there were pure ambitions marked by statements like, "Let unity be our polar star." The Churches of Christ were once passionate about unity and serious about Bible study (actually reading the Scriptures, rather than reading someone else's interpretation of them). There are still people like this in the Churches of Christ.

Third, I believe there is much to celebrate in the Churches of Christ. Things like: 1) congregational independence; 2) a serious approach to the sacred Scriptures, and 3) a renewed commitment to actively and positively impacting our communities.

Yes, there are problems (see my previous post "The Dream is Still Alive"). Yet, these are my people. I have grown up with them, celebrated with them, endured their abuse, stood with them, and I will continue to love them even if they should ever decide to not return such love.

This journey has been marked by heartache, pain, sorrow, and many sleepless nights. When I begin to ask why I am still here in the Churches of Christ, my mind opens up folders containing pictures of past Bible school teachers, deacons, elders (just a few), preachers, and other committed followers of Christ who have helped shape my life.

This is a journey that the Spirit has prompted me to take and it is a journey I embrace. My heritage is not perfect, but I still embrace it. Now is not the time to abandon the dream.

Worldview Formation 101

One major part of this journey which we are all traveling is the formation of a worldview. There are definitely spiritual influences in every worldview, yet there are also a number of other contributing factors as well.

Two worldviews are egocentric and theocentric. An egocentric worldview places self at the center of everything. In this worldview, everything revolves around self and self's desires. On the other hand, a theocentric worldview places God at the center of everything. In this worldview, everything revolves around God and what He desires for one's life. These contrasting worldviews are seen in the differing statements: "I found God" and "God found me." To say that "I found God" is to make an egocentric statement. However, to say that "God found me" (which is more in line with the sacred Scriptures) is to make a theocentric statement.

Questions: How would you describe your worldview? What has shaped and influenced the worldview you currently espouse?

Egocentric and theocentric are not the only worldviews. One area of difficulty is when Christians differ in the details of their individual worldviews (so is this what "the devil is in the details" means?). It is in these moments that it is best to heed Fox Mulder's words, "You may not agree with me, but at least respect the journey.

What do you guys think?

Egocentric Indulgence

Speaking of an egocentric worldview, there is an interesting perspective in how this is seen (in more than one way).

The person possessing an egocentric worldview places self at the center of everything. Since everything revolves around him, he surmises that all suffering, all pain, and all heartache encompasses him, rather than others.

I experienced this firsthand in a phone conversation a few moments ago. The person on the phone is currently wrestling with a demon of enormous proportions (actually, the demon is wrestling with him. There does not seem to be much resistance). He talked about how he is hurting. He extrapolated on his pain. He emphasized his suffering. In short, he became a classic example of a a person holding an egocentric worldview.

The heart of sinful behavior is selfishness. It is saying, "I want to do this, regardless of what others think or how this will ultimately affect those whom I love." It is putting self above others, which is contrary to the Christ-centered attitude of putting others first (remember what Philippians 2:5 says?).

Temptation presents herself and if the selfish, sinful desires are indulged, then sin is conceived. Here is the Bible's take on it: "When tempted, no one should say, 'God is tempting me.' For God cannot be tempted by evil, nor does he tempt anyone; but each one is tempted when, by his own evil desires, he is draggged away and enticed. Then, after desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, gives birth to death" (James 1:13-15).

Sin is committed by self. The sin begins in a person's heart (desire) and the decision to sin is made by the individual. Period.

The effects or consequences of such sin does impact the one who commits the sin. However, (and this is important) the consequences also directly affect the person's loved ones. The result is loss of relationship, security, and the shattering of childhood innocence.

So who really is the victim here? Is it those who choose to indulge their selfish and sinful desires? Or is it those who never make a choice, but still have to live with the consequences of someone else's choices?

Respect the Journey

"I'm just dying spiritually."

I heard those words on the phone today. They were spoken by someone who has been a Christ-follower for more than 40 years. The person spoke of the regret in missing out on the journey. She shared her sadness at what she saw as her lack of spiritual growth.

At the same time her realization caused her pain, it also sparked hope. She believed she was now a part of the journey. She mentioned the excitement at delving deeper into her faith.

My thoughts raced as I attempted to piece together her comments. Her words resembled that of a post-modern baby-buster (or millenial), not a modern baby-boomer. So how did a middle-aged woman who has spent the majority of her life in a church environment reach the point of spiritual stagnation?

Questions: How did the church fail her? What do you think she needs to do in order to reverse her spiritual-degeneration?

I don't have the answers to these questions, so I am curious to hear from those of you who regularly (and most often silently) read this blog. Even without the answers, there is one bit of advice that I once received from Fox Mulder. He and Scully got into a disagreement over one of his theories about a case. Mulder turned to Scully and said, "You don't have to agree with me, but at least respect the journey."

As you think about possible solutions to what this woman is experiencing, do so with a respect for the journey. Remember, we do not all have to see eye-to-eye, but at least we can all respect the journey.

Killing Fear

Fear moves from the shadows and invades the human heart. It creates scenarios that frighten even the bravest of souls. It speaks words of dread that erase any sense of comfort.

Fear is a disease. It paralyzes. It gives birth to doubt, gossip, and pain. It constantly reminds us that we cannot know for certain what the future holds.

How would our decisions be affected if we could catch a glimpse of the future first? How many decisions are never made because of fear of the unknown?

About seven years ago I had a rousing battle with fear. It's voice seemed to always be ringing in my ears. Everyday I was reminded that I do not know what is going to happen. Each decision was questioned and second-guessed. Every thought was held captive to fear.

It did not take long for fear to kick faith out of my heart. And without faith, I had no hope. Thankfully, God would not abandon me to suffering as a prisoner of fear. Instead, he sent people into my life and gradually, my faith returned stronger and bigger than any fear that had afflicted me.

The lessons I learned are rather simple. You probably already know them. 1) When making decisions, listen to the voice of faith, not fear; 2) Trust that God really will work things out for the best (even though you can't read minds or know the future); 3) Realize the security you have with God.

Mending a Broken Heart

What happens when a heart breaks?

What happens physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually? If a heart truly breaks, then what is the remedy? What heals a broken heart?

I realize we often use the term "broken heart" rather lightly. When we were kids we talked about sustaining a broken heart from a broken relationship. Breaking up is not only hard to do, but at some point we convinced ourselves that our hearts were broken by such an episode.

Really, though, what we thought was a broken heart was something much less. When a heart is really broken, the road to healing is a long and difficult one.

Losing a love is often healed by time and the discovery of a new and genuine love found in the most unexpected of places. But losing a love is not necessarily the same as having a broken heart.

Bidding farewell to a close friend is an emotional experience, but does that really break a heart?

As the wellspring of life, the heart is broken when something happens or something is done that separates the heart from its Creator.

For the Christ-follower, the heart is physically present in the body, yet spiritually-resides in heaven (in a present-future sense). When my relationship with God is broken, then my heart follows.

People may damage my heart, but unless my relationship with God is severed, my heart cannot be broken.

In the Company of Evil

When darkness falls and hope hides her face, it is then that the Light must shine.

When hearts are ensnared and minds corrupted, it is then that the Light must shine.

The rhetoric of fools is the abuse of the arrogant.

Haughty eyes -- this the Lord hates
A lying tongue -- this the Lord hates
Hands that shed innocent blood -- this the Lord hates
A heart that devises wicked schemes -- this the Lord hates
Feet that are quick to rush into evil -- this the Lord hates
A false witness who pours out lies -- this the Lord hates
A man who stirs up dissension among brothers -- this the Lord hates

Observe well the company of evil. Each member wields its own weapons of destruction. Arrogance accompanies lies, which accompany the shedding of innocent blood. Those who scheme to do evil are equated with those who run into wickedness. A false witness and those who seek to divide and conquer both draw the wrath of an angry God.

Where shall I raise my head? Upon what battlefield must this battle be waged? I fall in desperation, because this battle has entered the sacred halls of God's temple. This battle has come to the assembly of the saints.

If God will send His angels, if God will reveal His Light, and if God will cleanse His temple, maybe then, the chorus of the saints will reverberate from the rafters.

Yet, God has already done these things and in my quest to see, I have blindly wandered around. Where have you gone, my faith? Hope, why do you retreat?

I draw my gaze heavenward because the time draws nigh, when my God will save me.

There is always hope, even when surrounded by the company of evil.

IS66

Tomorrow we are set to make a major announcement at the church where I attend. Recently, the decision was made to add a morning worship assembly beginning in August. This affords us the opportunity to minister to more people in that people now have another option.

In a culture where Wal-Mart is open 24/7 and the parking garages at the casinos (prevalent where I live) are always full (even at 3 a.m.), we are a little behind the curve. With the many different shifts that people work it is necessary for churches to provide more opportunities for corporate worship. This decision is a good one.

The announcement for tomorrow concerns what we do on Sunday evenings. Our tradition is to meet at 6:00 p.m. for another corporate assembly. However, throughout the past several years our Sunday night attendance has continued to dwindle. When you have 475 people on Sunday morning and only 80 on Sunday night, then it is obvious that you have a problem. The one Sunday night when attendance is up is when we have Heart Groups, which are basically house churches. We do this once a month.

To provide an environment that will encourage serious Bible study and foster spiritual growth we are beginning a new ministry called "Inner Studies 66." The vision behind this ministry is this: "Visualize a setting where serious Bible study takes place, personal relationships form and deepen, and people experience the life-changing moments that only come through an encounter with Jesus and His followers."

We are going to continue to provide a 6:00 p.m. service for those who want to attend. However, we are now going to encourage people to participate in IS66 Groups. The reason we are launching this ministry is five-fold: 1) It is biblical (you can read about house churches in the book of Acts); 2) It is historical (for the first three centuries of the church's existence house churches were the norm); 3) It is practical; 4) It is personal (meeting in homes with smaller groups rather than getting swallowed up in a large auditorium with 450+ people); and 5) It is easily expandable (churches that grow larger do so by growing smaller).

The day of mega-churches and hugh building programs is coming to an end. Once again the biblical model is surfacing. Church is more than having a huge building and being the big kid on the block. Church is about building relationships: 1) first with Jesus; and 2) with other Christ-followers. Big buildings do not transform people, relationships do!

I am excited about this ministry. For those who are interested, here is the standard format for an IS66 Group:
30-45 minutes of in-depth Bible study (might go longer depending on the group)
The Bible study will be marked by prayer and group discussion (even singing for those who want).
Every IS66 Group will study the same material (textual-based) and participants will receive study guides one month in advance of each study
Each leader will have a Leader's Guide and leaders will participate in regular training and preparation sessions

IS66 is scheduled to begin Sunday, September 11, 2005.

Lately, rumors have begun to circulate that we are cancelling Sunday evenings. Of course, we cannot really do that, can we? What we are doing is launching a ministry which will enable people to grow in their relationship with God through an in-depth study of His word, and also help people grow in their relationships with other Christ-followers.

I guess the only people who would object to such a ministry are those who are not interested in serious Bible study. After all, it is a whole lot easier to sit in a pew and fall asleep on Sunday night during the sermon than it is to actively participate in a study of God's Word.

Publish

Tomorrow we are set to make a major announcement at the church where I attend. Recently, the decision was made to add a morning worship assembly beginning in August. This affords us the opportunity to minister to more people in that people now have another option.

In a culture where Wal-Mart is open 24/7 and the parking garages at the casinos (prevalent where I live) are always full (even at 3 a.m.), we are a little behind the curve. With the many different shifts that people work it is necessary for churches to provide more opportunities for corporate worship. This decision is a good one.

The announcement for tomorrow concerns what we do on Sunday evenings. Our tradition is to meet at 6:00 p.m. for another corporate assembly. However, throughout the past several years our Sunday night attendance has continued to dwindle. When you have 475 people on Sunday morning and only 80 on Sunday night, then it is obvious that you have a problem. The one Sunday night when attendance is up is when we have Heart Groups, which are basically house churches. We do this once a month.

To provide an environment that will encourage serious Bible study and foster spiritual growth we are beginning a new ministry called "Inner Studies 66." The vision behind this ministry is this: "Visualize a setting where serious Bible study takes place, personal relationships form and deepen, and people experience the life-changing moments that only come through an encounter with Jesus and His followers."

We are going to continue to provide a 6:00 p.m. service for those who want to attend. However, we are now going to encourage people to participate in IS66 Groups. The reason we are launching this ministry is five-fold: 1) It is biblical (you can read about house churches in the book of Acts); 2) It is historical (for the first three centuries of the church's existence house churches were the norm); 3) It is practical; 4) It is personal (meeting in homes with smaller groups rather than getting swallowed up in a large auditorium with 450+ people); and 5) It is easily expandable (churches that grow larger do so by growing smaller).

The day of mega-churches and hugh building programs is coming to an end. Once again the biblical model is surfacing. Church is more than having a huge building and being the big kid on the block. Church is about building relationships: 1) first with Jesus; and 2) with other Christ-followers. Big buildings do not transform people, relationships do!

I am excited about this ministry. For those who are interested, here is the standard format for an IS66 Group:
30-45 minutes of in-depth Bible study (might go longer depending on the group)
The Bible study will be marked by prayer and group discussion (even singing for those who want).
Every IS66 Group will study the same material (textual-based) and participants will receive study guides one month in advance of each study
Each leader will have a Leader's Guide and leaders will participate in regular training and preparation sessions

IS66 is scheduled to begin Sunday, September 11, 2005.

Lately, rumors have begun to circulate that we are cancelling Sunday evenings. Of course, we cannot really do that, can we? What we are doing is launching a ministry which will enable people to grow in their relationship with God through an in-depth study of His word, and also help people grow in their relationships with other Christ-followers.

I guess the only people who would object to such a ministry are those who are not interested in serious Bible study. After all, it is a whole lot easier to sit in a pew and fall asleep on Sunday night during the sermon than it is to actively participate in a study of God's Word.

Faith and Philosophy

A day off of work to recuperate from a little medical procedure has given me time to ponder the deep mysteries of life. Coming up with questions is the easy part. My problem is in finding answers.

The standard line for Christ-followers is that "Jesus is the answer." Since I have embraced the Christian faith it is hard for me to argue with such simple logic. However, the fact that Jesus is the ultimate answer does not mean that He will answer all of my questions.

If you are like me, there are moments when your faith and your philosophy clash. Now this sounds like an absurd statement on face value since faith is supposed to shape philosophy. But on second glance, there is an ever-present tension in this uneasy dichotomy (I'm still taking medication so my spelling may be a little off).

The decisions in life that cause us the greatest amount of emotional turmoil are often the products of our philosophy, but stand in direct opposition to our faith.

However, I have found a peace and happiness that is produced by both faith and philosophy. Yet in the peace and happiness is an undercurrent of pain and heartache. Can these concepts be reconciled?

None of this may make any sense (I am rambling here). There are times to press on. There are times to let go. There are times to forgive. There are times to live. There are even moments when the "weight of glory" (with apologies to C.S. Lewis) crushes us more than lifts us.

Living life to the fullest is more than a meaningless tryst. It is the marriage of faith and philosophy. So what happens when faith and philosophy part ways due to irreconciable differences?

Can the two live in harmony? Is this town big enough for the faith that comes from God and our own personal philosophies?

Maybe a better question is whether the heart is big enough.

Motivated Agenda of Purity

Following a minor procedure a few hours ago I am attempting add another entry into this blog.

During our brief run (so far), we have explored a bunch of different topics. Often what a blogger posts is more than just a series of questions. More often than not, the blogger is putting his own struggles down in black and white.

Today my struggle centers on maintaining pure motives. So many times when we attempt to help people we begin to develop agendas, which drive our interactions with others.

It is very easy for selfishness to enter the picture. It is also easy for us to attempt to take control of a particular situation, thinking we know what is best. In either case, selfishness has replaced what was initially selflessness and the entire perpsective is changed.

This is why the story of Jesus hits so hard. His only agenda was our salvation. His only motive was one born of, sustained by, and driven by unconditional love.

How the rest of us can reach such a standard, I do not have a clue. What I do know is that my understanding is usually insufficient in such matters. How do we make our agendas pure, our motives entirely selfless?

Search Your Feelings

How many of you wrestle with your feelings? Lately, I have thought about how our feelings originate and how they can so easily control us. Good feelings, bad feelings, insecure feelings, sinful feelings, etc.

In a scene from The Empire Strikes Back, Darth Vader tells Luke Skywalker that he is his father. Luke refuses to believe that claim at first. Darth then tells Luke to "search his feelings."

How exactly do we search our feelings? Are all feelings born in the heart? I realize the Bible talks about evil desires coming from the heart, but what place do feelings have in our mental, emotional and spiritual health?

What about what I am feeling right now? What determines if this feeling is good or bad?

Obviously, I am not Jedi yet.