A Difficult Road

Toward the end of summer 2009 my wife approached me with a serious matter. She explained that she felt that the Holy Spirit had laid something on her heart. She said that the Spirit was prompting her to become a foster parent.

Such a statement carried much weight with me. My wife doesn't lightly say such things. So I listened carefully. In particular, she said there were two children in foster care whom she wanted to ask about, in order to foster and possibly adopt at a later date.

Since 1984 the church where we attend has operated a faith-based, state-licensed foster care agency. It is called Bossier K.I.D.S. Bossier coming from the parish where we are located, and the acronym K.I.D.S. standing for Kids in Delicate Situations. The two children to whom Mendy referred were already in Bossier K.I.D.S. and where currently placed in one of the three foster homes that the church owns and operates.

Mendy asked me what I thought about this idea. I said that I was in no position to argue with the Holy Spirit.

Mendy then went to talk to the foster parents (who attend church with us) about the children. When she broached the subject with the foster mother (a wonderfuly lady named Lynn), Lynne responded, "You might be the answer for my prayers."

Behind the scenes, the Bossier Parish Office of Community Services was working out an arrangement not in the best interests of the children, and certainly not something our community would support.

The two children have an older brother who had been placed in a different home. The plan was to move the two younger children to this home. We voiced our objections (due to some things I cannot mention), and even retained counsel. The day before we were to go to court to file an intervention, we received a call that the children would not be moved, and that the older brother was being moved out of the house due to some recent circumstances (this was the end of September 2009).

While all of this was happening, Mendy and I were driving to Natchitoches each Saturday for foster parent certification classes. We became officially certified the first week of October 2009. Along with our two children, we prepared to welcome two new children into our care.

Then the OCS supervisior decided that it would be best to keep the children at their current home until the termination of parental rights hearing in January 2010. We were shocked by this development. Earlier this same supervisor had pushed to put the two younger children in the same home as the older brother because it was considered a concurrent home (meaning the people would adopt the children if parental rights were terminated). We had already made it clear that should the children be put with us in a foster care situation, we would adopt them if their parents' rights were terminated at a later date.

At this moment, we felt that our Saturday drives to Natchitoches had been a waste of time. We had done what we were told we needed to do, only to have the OCS change its mind.

Then, a few weeks later, we received the call that the children were coming to our home! We were elated! And all four of us welcomed them with open arms.

Then on January 11, 2010. I went to the Bossier Parish courthouse to see what the judge would rule. The CASA (court appointed special advocate for the children) submitted a lengthy report outlining why parental rights should be terminated. The Bossier OCS did not push for termination. All parties involved waited four hours before we were called before the judge. The parents stood off by themselves during this time. When they arrived, I went over and said "hello", but that did not open the door to any conversation. Interestingly, during the four hours we stood waiting in the hallway, the parents NEVER asked me how their kids were doing! Not one question the entire time!

When we stood before the judge, I realized that the children's attorney had been present the entire time as well. Not once did he ask me anything about the children. He didn't even talk with them before the hearing!

The judge decided to give the parents six more months. We will return to court June 28. He seemed to make this decision in the span of about 4-5 five minutes.

Our situation has been made even more difficult as a result of this ruling. All of us are in limbo. No one is sure how to feel. My wife and children are scared of the pain they will feel if the judge returns the children to their parents and the horrible situation from which they were originally taken.

The kids themselves are confused, and now have to wait six more months before knowing what is going to happen to them. So we remain on the front lines and have to deal with rulings from judges who sit behind benches, and state offices that ignore violations of case plans.

Meanwhile, the children are the ones who are hurt. Se we resolve to continue to walk this difficult road. We will continue to love these children, care for them, and pray that God will trump any decisions or rulings that are not in their best interests.

We will not be the ones who decide their fate in this matter. But we are the ones who each day can give them a safe place, along with a home where they will be loved, accepted, and always treasured. Such is the ministry of a foster parent. And to such were we called.